If there was anything to learn from a dysfunctional childhood, it is that the only one I could really trust was the one single one who was never going to leave: me! Everywhere I go, there I am. I learned to capitalize: I AM as an emphatic declaration of my own presence. Over the years, I have become totally reliant on myself and, don’t you know, whatever it is that is going on, I surely know that I am trustworthy.
And, of course, it follows as I heal my own wounds from the past, I can acknowledge and admire all others.
In our society, there is in place as the go-to sources for religion and spirituality churches of multiple denominations and faiths. The question I asked myself at some point in my young life, in whom shall I have faith? This question went along with whom shall I trust? I came back to the same answer each time: me! The only ones who take issue with this are the others in my life who wish that I believe; there is the same question and, yup the same answer.
One of the teachers that I learned could be trusted, Krishnamurti, said this: Belief is atrophy of the mind! Fair enough!
In some places there is a great deal of consternation that any person, let alone a female person, should be so empowered that the only real answer to these questions cannot be answered in any institution.
As soon as I knew that I was experiencing a much larger reality than many people, that I was looking at a very colorful world around me, that I could see energies around people, and animals and in the trees, in flowers and other plants, I knew that there must be some kind of reason for this other than any kind of reasons I might encounter in churches. I’m certain that I can wait as long as is needed for any kind of definitive answer!
The purpose of this writing is to point out to you, dear Reader, that you have already within you both the ability and the power to make decisions like this for yourself and that, indeed, you are the only one in your life who can. If it takes a while to assimilate these ideas, so be it. It is my suggestion that you keep quiet about it around most people and that you take your own counsel as to whom you might be willing to trust in a discussion.
There is one idea that keeps coming forward to me when I find myself, an old granny, talking to younger ones. It is this: In the whole world, you are the only one of you. You are unique. Without you, the Great Universe would not be what it is. Somehow it is evident to me that IT is indeed, palpable and beyond belief. Without you, without me IT would not be what IT is. The thought to hold clearly is that, unlike how it seems to be in our world, none of us is more important than any other. Each of us is equidistant from the center of the Whole.
Sit with this for a while, quite a while if need be. Allow the ideas to be what they are without them needing to be different or to fit any thing else that you might think you know. Allow – very big word – this to simply seep into all the corners of your being. How does it feel?
If there is dissonance, ask yourself where the dissonance comes from, what ideas, what else is the cause. Become comfortable with the notion that you are your own authority and that you have both the power and the right to think and feel for yourself.
I write these pieces from the point of view: what would I most have wanted to hear from another person when I was first encountering these huge questions for myself? If I have made a difference to you in your own search, please let me know because, truth be told, I cannot do what I do without you. Surely, I can start a website, but without even a few people at the very beginning to share the site, the ideas and the pictures, the direction and the questions, there is no point. Thanks for reading and thank you for telling me what you are thinking.