January 10, 2019: Day 183: This is a day for me.

I have in my life some very dedicated and precious ladies who offer me outreach services. What does this exactly mean: they come when I ask: please assist me to find some home tenancy insurance for my stuff especially my chairs and my equipment. Please come to assist me to find a plain ordinary western doctor who can assist me with access to basic medical services like clinics and hospital: we have been unable to connect in this area as of this day. Please may I go to see some of the Christmas lights. We went to Stanley park where there were about 3 acres of lights with a small electric train running through, where there was an older guy dressed in his wonderfully funny spun polyester beard and red suit, black boots and a ruddy smile on his face. My lady and the old lady in the wheel chair brought Santa some fun, grouping round him for a group selfie. This is outreach. The plan is: bring the fun!

So, my ladies came today to talk. There is a single important topic to allow conversation about at my age: death and dying.

Ok, so this is one of those more loaded topics for most people. It’s just how our world is set up and its pretty easy to follow the path that’s been made. By now, you well know that I have created a path much less traveled. It happened big time when I took my trip.

By the time I had progressed all the way through these various Spanish speaking states to El Valle de Anton in Panama, I had very little money left and about ½ tank of gas. These are moments when my eyes open very wide: I am caused to stand in my life and discover vital truths. This one was about being stranded in a foreign country with no one and nothing to depend on except myself. It was apparent to me that I had exactly the opportunity to discover if I was going to survive what was showing up as my ignorant folly: how not to embark on a journey through foreign countries with a load of my life stuff in my van. I was stuck.

So: who do you call? No, not ghostbusters: go to sleep Ackroyd! Death is at the top of this list today: Hi, guy! I came to call respectfully to seek counsel at this critical time. His response was, “We don’t need you yet!” Ok, that’s refreshing to know. But please tell me, what is the way through this dilemma? His directions were straightforward and simple: get out the sewing machine, put out the message on the local Yahoo network and hem pants, fit dresses and make kitchen curtains.

Within a couple days, I had enough work to feed myself and to pay for a week at the local hostel where I had parked the van. Next was to open it up and dry it out before the soft goods rotted in the wet and humid weather. I was able to send out some SOS calls on my Ravensmedicine blog and attract some substantial and very needed cash to make it all work. Thank you very much.

Today’s discussion referred to the fact of the age I am and the general condition of my health. But the conversation was not panicky or emotional; rather it was this is how it is for me and what my requests are. These lovely ladies listened attentively partly because their training did not include a spiritually inclined person in charge of her own life. The outcome was, in fact, sensational: they got where I was coming from, they supported me to continue on my path and gave me assurances that no matter what happened they, each of them personally, would show up to be with me any time I called.

This surely was one of the reasons that when my visa was up in Panama, the unexpected and correct outcome was coming back to Canada.

You are reading something of my philosophy: there is always a way, and when a way is found, there is always a better way. Here I am after 2 ½ years in emergency shelter, in a new building, with rent subsidies, a pension to live on, medical services, some good friends to support and something of the great peace settled in my heart and mind. This was a great gift for the Christmas season and for the new year now upon us. Blessings to you. We can share!  

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